So if inactive I often eat when bored...which is bad when inactive.

Anywho, am pretty fat right now.

I used to be about 190 pounds with around 10% body fat. Am now like 230 or so.

Fucking gross.

Anyhow, many of my pants don't fit but I did not want to buy more clothes because I felt that made it easier to get fatter. And that of course led to not having many clothes that fit. And thus it was easier to be anti social.

Going to NYC for a conference tomorrow.

Went to buy clothes at the near end of winter. Was wearing shorts. Bought a bunch of pants. Now I have a bunch of pants and winter is almost over. And I am fat.

The logical reason for this post is to tell myself that it is not always logical to do the most logical thing or that sometimes my logic is flawed. But will I listen to myself? Who knows. If I were you I probably wouldn't listen to me

hehehe

Listening to a person who got their site banned talk about how they make 90% of their sales from other channels.

How often to we do similar each day?

Is that I spend way way way too much time at the computer and dont want to make it seem more lifelike...because it isn't the same.

the other problem is perhaps that it takes away the seclusion but still doesnt make it real life... its kinda a tweener.

Drug-resistant strain of HIV worries doctors :(

Writer Hunter S. Thompson Kills Himself :(

A strong Europe is good for America ... Bush speaks rubbish propaganda :(

also listen in to his past. if his past means anything today what concerns him most is how to manipulate the vote of the conservative christian.

Many people think the grass is always greener on the other side. That it only sucks here. Then they go elsewhere. And it sucks there too.

I find myself wanting to travel a bunch. It sucks here. Or maybe not.

The reality of it is that I have made a few friends in London, New Zeland, Australia, Hawaii, Spain, California, NYC, Ohio, etc etc etc

On the web geography does not constrain who you meet or what you can do.

Longterm for many people to do well they still have to interact and extend beyond their topical communities. Imagine being one of the few marketers who was also friends with 10 of the top web designers in the world. I still need to be a hell of a lot more social than I am, but at least I see it as a fault I need to fix.

Hopefully I will not tell myself lies to keep myself constrained by geography.

American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares. source

Funny thing is that while you are in the military if you tell your leaders about suicidal thoughts and dreams they may ignore you until after they destroy that portion of your mind, life, or soul.

Then they may even go so far to destroy their own work records of your performance before discharging you.

According to the US national centre for post-traumatic stress disorder, up to 30% of combat veterans suffer from the condition at some point in their lives.

The two main reasons ecstacy is generally illegal are:

• the patent for it ran out a long time ago
  
• it can be used recreationally

Many people who join the military see combat or are hidden away from life for extended periods of time. After months or years of not trusting people and seeing the worst humanity has to offer it gets hard to ever trust anybody.

It gets hard to talk about things that are wrong in your life or mind.

If you lack a way to channel engery for long enough you lose the energy and become numb. You have effectively died.

And it is a bitch to start reliving again too.

Certainly many others had / have it far worse than I had it in the military. I think it is a complete crock of shit how poor this country treats those who give so much to help expand this empire.

I really wish they would start teaching about the military industrial complex in grade school to help many people avoid the mistake which enlistment is.

found from Boing Boing

In third grade I remember a teacher I had made us all take scraps she cut out from the covers of cards and had us write stories about them.

I had a fox in a corvette. He of course was going to Vegas and I of course had a ton of fun writing about him.

The teacher stated that she thought the class in general was disappointing and that if anyone had any questions about writing they should... ask Aaron.

I later spent time in misery on a submarine. Hated it and wanted to die. While on my way to get kicked out of the navy my bosses said I should... be a writer.

I recently spoke with a friend of mine about what I should be doing...with changes I wanted to do. He of course told me I am hosed.

He said that I was a great writer and that it is a skill that is regularly lacking in most people.

I still do not know anything about technical writing, spelling, or much of the stuff about writing - was that even good grammer?

I am kinda often stuck in my own mind isolated from society other than through what I can express in keystrokes (and up until recently it was not so intentional, but now I am starting to think much of it is). Being fat and isolated and hidden away makes expression easier.

My friend said I should write more. I know to do that I need to read more, but I am starting to learn that what you read is far more important than how much you read, but now I am starting to get interested in too many topics. Maybe its better that way though...

"What good fortune for those in power that the people do not think." -- Adolf Hitler

Would you call an search engine optimizer and not pay your consulting fees? I wouldn't.

I am not too technilogically advanced yet, but I would have to think that stealing like that brews bad karma.

More to come...

What a stupid customer support question.

So not that long ago my laptop came in and I needed to set up a wireless router. Since the DSL account was in my roommates name they did not want to give me the account information.

I asked them what in the hell was to prevent me from calling right back and saying I was my roommate. The guy began to studder and make up stupid reasons.

I hung up and called back to get the next tech support person. Their secret question was mothers maiden name and I said I did not know what it is. They then gave me all the account info.

Why do companies use official company policies that force people to lie? Annoying.

So corporate coruption is nothing new, but the fact of investing is that most investments / companies / ideas are failures. Like humans companies have life spans and 20 years after AT&T split up they were bought by one of their spin offs.

If most investments fall below the average then how is making a social security program which has people play the market safer or better than what exists now?

Right now it seems as though the web is -at least to me- as important to the economy as railroads and automobiles were.

As large as the original visions of the web were they were likely only a fraction of what will come. They of course were out of reason as exuberence caused people to buy things that would never have a chance at success. The idealisms of the channels actually stifeled the ideas that were needed to make the network work to its full potential.

The one thing that makes the web so powerful is the hidden demand within each of our minds. We can search and then find a little info and then find more about our interests and then go after them.

Of course with that implied demand there is also a ton of ad demand.

Back in 99 - when I knew absolutely nothing about the web and was completely naive to the world around me- I still understood that the ability to target that demand was going to make advertising huge. The problem was that I did not appreciate just how crap most of the targeting mechanisms were. They were suckers investments. DCLK was a standard must own web marketing stock. Today they are worth less than a billion.

While I was pretty damn poor I found ways to live absurdely meager to buy a bunch of stocks that all went to shit. The exuberence at the time meant that people created arbitrary metrics to justify taking the average person for a ride.

Amazon provides a great service. I buy there frequently. Still need to read about 100 books I have bought.

Today I just installed Quickbooks on a new computer. I told my friend about getting the new computer and Quickbooks and he told me their manual was shit and that I should buy a book. I checked my email and Amazon recommended one.

Despite the fact that they were creating an amazing brand and they have powerful recommendation engines they still have not created a ton of value. To date they have lost about 3 billion dollars and are only worth about 15.

While recommending related products and great customer service are great, the best item to sell is no item at all. Google came years later is worth far more. In the first 11 months of 2004 I think Google spent about $2.5 on marketing. In the last quarter they had about a billion dollars in ad sales and are stupid profitable.

Just today DoubleClick put out another marketing report, but this one about the effects of search engines.

Right now there are only 4 companies that control most of those railways though, and obviously DoubleClick is not one of them.

• The smallest of the players (ask jeeves) is making acquisitions and now has even decided to run ads on television
  
• MSN just joined the market and is going to be spending 9 figures advertising the new service
  
• Google seems to be rolling out technologies that prevent websites for even ranking for their own names. obviously that brews bad karma and a bad user experience. There also is heavy insider selling.
  
• Yahoo! seems to be more in tune with the subscription business model (like RSS)

I wonder which ones are suckers bets and which ones will pan out, or if due to concepts like sell side advertising they may all become outdated fools gold.

gay cancer may kill cancer.

Iraq elections...oops.

ever wonder if the point of the military is just to police the world to ensure unrest exists such that we can justify further military spending?

what value is money to the corporations if they bankrupt the country?

I am not sure, but for some reason we continue to finance BOTH sides of the "war."

A reflection stares deeply into a shallow illusion
looking back against the weathering years which have worn vision thin

offering advice he can only give to another
channeling energy and finding balance only in telling others to do so

things he wishes to do or maybe just wishes to wish to do
everyone likes the word improved, but at what cost

honesty is expensive but then what is truth
if you release your greatest hits after three records
it probably means you are a hunk of shit
but who has time to keep writing records

Penalties of Stealing vs. Infringing

Some People Push Back

Well I really felt like shit yesterday. Prettymuch I couldn't have stated it to bluntly IMHO.

Steps to screwing myself over:

I used to excercise a bunch. Even early on this month I started that. But the last 5 days I have not done that at all. When I stopped working out was the night I drank for the first time in over a month. Got loaded. I have no schedule so its kinda easy to fall into a hole waking up at 3pm if I get loaded.

Also I was eating healthy for about a week until that night I got loaded. After I got loaded I went and bought junk food. Just ate stupid McDonalds.

Recently really really bad stuff happened on the economic and social front and that really sucks a huge tub of ass since I am not overtly stable on the physical or mental front.

So sometimes it is in your best interests to fully express yourself. There are situations that help you feel better (mental health), or help you make friends (social health), or help you make money (financial health).

Rarely do most ideas and expressions help on all three fronts. Normally at least 1 of those three is an opportunity cost for providing well for the others.

Certain situations are blatently obvious where it makes sense to not show affiliation and perhaps to not even state who you are. Other times there is a need for expression so strong that you are willing to sacrifice one or more of the above to help the others, but its not always easy to know when.

The ideas that do all three of the above are either not well thought through or are genius.