June 29, 2006


I feel pretty happy right now. Not sure why, but that is just how it is.

It feels contrived / fake / garbagelike for me to feel sad right now. I looked at a couple recent poem attempts I did and all I can think is that they are sad and pathetic. Fake. Contrived. Garbagelike. It's nearly impossible at the moment for me to think anything but really good thoughts.

I used to worry that as markets grow more complex I would be marginalized, but it all just depends on your focus and the customers you want to serve.

In the past I have consulted board members of major search engines about potential acquisitions. That was never my target market, but the only way I get marginalized is if I chose to aim to help people that are too lazy to try to build real value. Even if you are poor I think the web can help you get by from scratch so long as you have passion. I would be hard pressed to find a person that was much more emotionally, physically, socially, mentally, and physically drained that I was about 4 years ago.

I also appreciated just how ignorantly good my memory is today. I read a book and my evil MovableType deleted part of my extended bulleted point review, and I just remembered like 15 or 20 bullet points, which really is quite absurd.

I don't think I question my memory as much as I used to. I should just learn to trust it. That is not to say that I haven't done shitty things or that I haven't forgot important stuff, but I am doing well enough that I can afford to take a day off or forget here and there.

No point getting stressed out over petty shit. If you don't push it too hard and just come up with good ideas lots of the shit just falls into place. Especially if you have a few successful buddies who are willing to be honest with you even if that honesty is in calling you out for being all fucked up. In fact I love being called out for being screwed up.

Bartering Emotional Support and Social Interaction

Sad but true. For as many people as technology helps and enables (like me) there are probably at least a couple other people who are growing increasingly isolated (like me).

Recent studies have shown that in the US people are growing increasingly isolated.

As taxes become easier for the rich to squirm around or to pay without burden beyond money then access to simple things like parking are not just going to be a regulating inconvenience tax, but more just a measure of raw capital. Given that the most profitable business models are often the most scummy ones I don't like the sound of that.

I also have seen money applied in relationships as a means to show love, and to me it never has. More often than not when I think about it money usually ruines relationships more than helps build them because it creates some arbitrary value set surrounding worthless paper. Human emotion is worth so much more.

I send some people money every month. Does it mean I care for them? Nope. It just means I send them money. I do care for some of them (and try to show that care in other ways too), but sometimes I donate just because I feel it is a responsibility. Money is overvalued, I have more of it than I need, and my government is quite scummy, fostering a world where they can exploit other countries to keep them forever poor. I should probably increases how much I donate soon too because it is not enough. If I have enough courage maybe I will move to a country that is less scummy on the foreign and domestic policy front.

A few years ago I wrote my mom a nastigram about money not mattering because I just believe money shouldn't matter. I think I hurt her with that, but I think I had to write it to try to make her understand who I am. Caring is another level well beyond anything money does. I believed this when I was dirt dirt dirt poor, and I still believe it now that I make more money than most people do.

I believe the world should give people the opportunity to see the greatness that exists in each of us. Those who (generally) block others for personal profit are pieces of shit. Those who inspire people or spread opportunity are great even if they never become all that wealthy (in terms of dollars).

If / when:

  • the concept of intimate friendship is a relic
  • software knows you better than your best friend
  • food has no nutritional value
  • pills replace physical activity, healthy dieting, and emotion
  • money says I love you

Have we lost out on the real bottom line?

When will capitalism fold? Humanity and the world deserve so much better.

June 25, 2006

State College, PA Recycling

State Collge Pennsylvania Recycling - Curbside Pickup tips from the Centre County Solid Waste Authority

June 24, 2006


that word
its meaning

but it's a nice campaign
for personal gain
a true shame
for those driven insane

just from a word
just today
but it is all just
just for today

the profit are great
with great margins
though we never look
at what's left in the margins
until it is blended into the background
then history reminds us it has always been that way

1280 x 1024

I suck at poetry, but need more outlets. Many of them should be off the web, but I am 99% + convinced that I will only find what I want off the web if my activities on the web somehow lead me to stumble over it. Ideally, it will hit me in the face harder than the table and brick that knocked out a few of my spare front teeth.

never enough time
and it is all I have
until I will never have it again

quicker smaller faster
more efficient
energy is all around me

i should dream
but i blink
i should sleep
but i eat

excessive gluttony
rich in calories, with insufficient funds

pixilated and digitized
memorized and mezmorized
passionately hollow

the sun is coming
in a few minutes
i will go on a trip
but i will never leave
it's not in my destiny

Help Me Help You

How many self help experts offered help that did not require you to buy into their system to help yourself?

Can one have a self sustaining business model that is pure and stands the test of time?

It is really fucking rare.

I wish the world were more altruistic. Then I would understand people better. And then I could help me understand me better. Or maybe not.

June 23, 2006

Nice Quotes

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president ... right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Teddy Roosevelt (Republican), 1918

"Political language . . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." - George Orwell

"Loss of freedom seldom happens overnight. Oppression doesn't stand on the doorstep with toothbrush moustache and swastika armband -- it creeps up insidiously... step by step, and all of a sudden the unfortunate citizen realizes that it is gone." - Baron Lane

June 21, 2006

Verizon's Tech Support for DSL & Wireless Service Plans - an Ignorant, Selfish, Greedy, Monopolistic Corporate Culture

Useful tech help ideas:

  • reset the router (sometimes that helps if there is some glitch in the program sequence or whatever)
  • if you are using a splitter disconnect the splitter and test it directly
  • disconnect all your other phone lines if they share the same phone number
  • try changing your phone cable to the router or dsl cable from the router
  • sometimes visiting the URL or helps the computer re-recognize the router (sorry I am not techy so that is not in techy terms hehehe)
  • do a line speed test
  • last resort: call the Verizon DSL customer support phone number 1(800)567-6789

So I believe I have an intermittent short in my internet connection.

All indications are the exact same as when I had one about a yr ago. Back then it took about a month or so to get someone to come to my house.

I call Verizon tech support and the guy in tech support tells me he can't support me. That he can't send someone to my house. I need to call billing, which - surely it is no accident - is closed 2/3 of the day.

I explained to the guy that he was hired by a scumbag corporation and that their rule sets were garbage at best. How is it possible that Verizon tech support can't actually provide tech support?

Every congressman that voted against net neutrality is a corporate whore scumbag.

A few more articles about the big V sucking big D with their customer support services

Verizon Customer Service is a joke

She couldn't help me. She was only Technical Support. However, let me transfer you to our Billing and Sales Department.

I get transferred and hear this: 'Thank you for calling Verizon Online. Our department is closed. Please call back during business hours...click.'

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??! They didn't even tell me when the business hours were!

Verizon Customer Service (Telesales) Sucks!!!!!

CNet: Verizon's customer service: your problem is...them

Beware of Verizon customer service & contracts

Reasons to be Pissed Off, 6/20/06

I answered about 600 emails the day I got home then the next day my internet connection went to shit, so I still am not fully caught up from the weekend trip.

While my internet connection went down so did my server for many hours.

A friend messaged my cell phone and that filled up my messages so I did not know my server was down.

I still need to review software I promised to have reviewed by midnight and it is now 12:08

My programmer did no work Thursday through Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday, too? For a program that I was hoping would be done by now.

I feel I have not done a very good job with my community site recently and I could write more on that. The editors have done a great job and deserve better from me. I am pissed at myself for that.

My professional blog keeps getting comments from people who quote me out of context and make me look stupid, and they keep asking irrelevant questions when they are too lazy to read what I answer anyway.

I have not posted to my professional blog in nearly a week and already have more stuff lined up to do today and tomorrow.

I had dental work done and have a ton more to go. Am pissed about how poor my hygiene habits were and that my jaw is probably going to be pretty fucked up for life.

Someone asked me for help and did not make it easy for me to help them. After recently rejecting a very gracious help offer. Now they want to go back and forth and I am not sure I have the energy necessary to help them. Change comes from within and I am not thinking they want to change much.

People selling SEO services want me to review competing sites to their clients for spam. Like what are they selling if they do not understand the market?

A normally hard working business partner and friend did not do the one thing I asked him to do prior to me leaving. That site is lingering about when it should be making at least $5,000 a month by now.

Prestigious periodicals asked me to review articles about my trade. They referred to me as Dr Wall and the article was wrote by another doctor. The article is overtly biased and in many ways factually incorrect and negative for my industry. Now I have to think of how to respond without looking like a jerk while being honest.

I promised to write articles for many sites that I still need to write.

I wonder how many of the things I write come off as being as wrong as the stuff I just read.

The concert I just went to makes me feel I have a purpose I need to fill and that currently I am not doing it.

On a positive note, I am reading the most important and influential book of my life thusfar.

June 14, 2006

Polar Bears Make Me Happy

Not sure why, but a picture of polar bears playing makes me really happy.

Sad to hear that global warming is leading some of them to become cannibalistic and may make them extinct.

New Slang

The Shins flat out kick ass.

I so dig happy songs that rhyme. Here are the lyrics to New Slang

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth. Only, i don't know how they got out, dear. Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met. I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

June 12, 2006

Homeland Security: a True Scam on Every Level

Last week a scumbag Army recruiter knocked on my door. The same week I was notified by the department of veteran affairs that some of my personal data was likely stolen. Lovely.

The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) has recently learned that an employee took home electronic data from the VA, which he was not authorized to do and was in violation of established policies. The employee's home was burglarized and this data was stolen. The data contained identifying information including names, social security numbers, and dates of birth for up to 26.5 million verterans and some spouses, as well as some disability rating.

This week a "friend" told me that he started marketing the US Army website. He then argued that all Muslims were terrorists that wanted to kill us. He is a Jew who supports ethnic cleansing.

I kept asking for his address to send him a 'Hitler was right' t-shirt, but he was disinterested in realizing or expressing his own hypocrisy.

If you are a Jew who is fond of ethnic cleansing you are a fucking scumbag that does not deserve to be alive.

CNN just published an article stating that the Homeland Security accepts fake IDs:

A man using a fake identification card was able to enter the Department of Homeland Security headquarters in Washington, even though the type of Mexican-issued "matricula consular" card he used is not recognized as valid by the United States government.

Homeland security would be more aptly named homeland scam. If they can't keep my data safe or their own building safe they have no business protecting anyone and they should all lose their jobs.

In other (un)related news, you have to smirk at this headline: Bush reviews Iraq plan, says oil is key. It is a shame none of the media realized that point until now, and even now they are still getting it wrong.

In other (un)related news, Violent crime in the U.S. is on the rise, posting its biggest one-year increase since 1991. Surely that can't be caused from bleeding the poor, sucking out the middle class, and teaching everyone that violence is appropriate.

June 5, 2006

When Good Ideas Are Bad

Recently I gave a friend an idea and it started working so well that he got so excited that his blood pressure went up and he had to take a break from working.

Today talking to another friend about another idea I put together he said he was unable to sleep last night because he was so excited about the idea.

How absurd is that...come up with good ideas that adversely affect the people who implement them?

Now I am sitting here too excited to think or work, and I am almost afraid to exercise because my mind is buzzing so much right now. I can only imagine how much better I would feel if I were exercising and in good physical shape.

June 4, 2006

Purrrfect Sex

So this is a dumb story, but well worth posting ;)

I don't know why it feels good to sleep next so someone you really like, but it does. Well one night I got that to the nth degree.

There is a girl I liked more than all other girls combined. And I was sleeping over at her house with her on her couch. So we were really really really really close to one another.

We both went to sleep. And well in dreams you don't always know you are sleeping right? So, of course, I have a really vivid dream about having passionate sex with this girl. But that dream was not just driven by me having a dirty mind or whatever...there was another factor at play.

The dream was to the scale that the excitement woke me up. And when I woke, her cat was licking my mouth. What kind of shit is that? It was a form of torture. Pure evil of some sort. So there I am awake. Laying right next to the girl I have liked more than all others combined. More horny than a pack of rabbits high on ecstasy, and all I could do is lay there, in pure torture.

Manikins Without Clothing

My hair was going past my eyes, and I got a meeting of some sorts this week which made me feel like I should get a hair cut. I don't normally go to the mall much, but I went today for a quick hair cut.

When walking through the mall I noticed some store had cheesy manikins of ultra buff guys not wearing shirts, but having them neatly folded into a small square on their shoulders.

What the hell is that all about?

Exploiting Children - US Military Using Unethical Video Games to Recruit Kid for War

America's Army is one of the most popular computer games on the planet and like many games, it is a shoot-em-up, get-the-bad guys kind of affair.

But unlike other games, America's Army is truly a product of the US military. The Army first released the game a few years ago as a recruiting tool. - from a BBC article on the unethical military recruiting video game

Given that the US military is using video games to recruit children, how is it possible that the government wants to protect children from violent video games?

Are the only quality violent video games ones that help guide kids toward signing up to die in a real war?

Last month, Sgt. 1st Class Alvin Martin, one of two recruiters at the Army's Woodinville office, rented a computer-gaming business called LanWerX for the tournament. The same day, recruiters hosted a parallel event at another LanWerX branch 12 miles away in Bellevue.

Martin put up fliers and made phone calls to offer free food and a day of free America's Army gaming to any interested boy, girl, man or woman over age 13 no commitments required. A khaki Humvee was parked outside.

"The Army games are particularly objectionable because they also include an indoctrination component, deepening the ideology of war," Boyle said. The games are "preying on [teenagers'] natural interest in affiliation all Madison Avenue stuff." - Seattle Times Article about America's Army

Wired published an article stating the military has a whole studio for creating these games.

The only type of violence that is appropriate for children to see is real life killing in far off lands. Hopefully they are not the ones dying, though.

More in depth coverage at Wikipedia and Justin Beck wrote a great essay about video games as military recruiting propaganda.


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