I think I joke around to where people do not take me serious...I think I do that because life is easier if I am laughing. I don't like stuck containers. I think the concept of thinking outside the box is stupid. I just see no reason to need a box.

Perhaps the reason I work by myself and for myself and the reason I so hated the navy is just that we do what we are compatible with, what makes sense to us. I still reserve the right to think the navy is shitty, but a large part of the problem might have been my own angst and lack of ability to "do what I am told."

That does not work well for me...

I just read yet another great little piece from Malcolm Gladwell about how star emplyoment systems do not work (they reenforce ignorance & arrogence and create leaders who do not take resposiblity for their actions - like Bush).

Perhaps I did not think I belonged in a system with someone such as Bush at the top with a person like me doing exactly what I am told.

Not saying that I am a star employee, but given the chance to do well I do, and I do know that I am one who needs room to breathe. The submarine did not do that for me.

Different people can say different things and get different outcomes based upon their own intrinsic values. Things that define their persona.

I think my thoughts often fall in line with Seth Godin's about many things. He tends to be better at pushing himself though. I write a sales letter that I know only converts half as well as it could because I do not want to sell stuff to people...because like it or not, in the competitive marketplace you can't make another person be driven enough to succeed, and I want everyone who reads my ebook to do well.

The problem is I don't know how to define well.

If my income continues to increase how it has been I could probably make over a quarter million dollars next year, 100% honestly too. Coming from near bankruptcy with no marketing or business or web knowledge less than two years ago that is rather decend IMHO. But so what. Money doesn't make one happy.

I even sometimes miss the dire deep depression and the motivation and altered lines of thinking it forced / created / allowed.

I guess my point is that despite tons of positive reviews I usually feel like there is something more I could and should do. For some reason I like to feel inadequate...in a big way.

A while ago I was looking at a moving site. A while later Seth was looking at a moving site. He talks about how stupid the selfish marketer is and so do I.

I just am uncertain as to if I would ever want "a following" and am not sure how I would handle that.

Not too long ago a guy emailed me about how powerful my other blog is and I kinda shyed away from the idea.

Lets say you have ideas and people want to listen to them. What makes you right? Enron was great. Our justice system that let Ken Lay put that many people on the street is great. Our government that deregulated power until California elected Arnold is wonderful (by the way I still have the official Girly Man poster that was all over the news).

I do not know if I know the right solutions, and spotting problems without knowing the solutions is useless. Of course when things are wrong it is always worth a shot at change.

And while I am unsure of the purpose of this post I know I can eat my artificially colored and flavored Vitamin C absorbic acid vitamins as a snack.