Sometimes we lie to ourselves to justify our own past behavior...to warp the world to match the way we explain our history and travels.

It is done in the history books and on a personal level as well.

Sometimes I tell myself that nobody likes me...as that makes it easy to justify ignorant or self destructive behavior. Recently I was amazed at how nice some of my friends were to me, even after a jackass episode.

My sendintary lifestyle and lack of social interaction are not not not healthy...I need to work on working out a lot more and need to find a way to connect to people that I can meet on a more regular basis than once every few months such that I have less social anxiety when I do meet and hang out w other people.

Another thing that sucks is I drink way too quickly when I drink and am a blabber mouth when drunk. There has to be some balance there that I can reach. I suppose if my normal self confidence was better there would be less desire to drink a bunch and I would have better self control after I started drinking.