People Who Saved My Life...

I have almost died more times than I can count. I am a bit tired but by no means drunk or anything like that...just think that as I think and experience life I should give thanks to people who saved my life. Of course I doubt they will read this, but...

• my mom - at least twice that I know of, but probably many times more when I was too young to know...back in the days of little Matt, and of course she had me...as big as I was at birth that must have been more pain than I have ever felt!
  
• my sister
  
• my friend Joe R
  
• my friend Bob T
  
• my friend John M
  
• my friend NFFC (more inspirational and wisdom than direct life saving...but he needs to be on this list)
  
• Tim Berners-Lee (he actually emailed me back when I emailed him too) - the machinery of capitalism would have killed me without the web ... see below
  
• someone who honked when I fell asleep driving many years ago
  
• someone who put up a guard rail I hit many years ago (I still am uncertain why car insurance only costs me about $21 a month)
  
• the person who gave me whatever drugs I took and got kicked out of the navy for taking...that place made me flat out suicidal for most of over 3 years straight
  
• the military recruiter that was too lazy to check my discharge code or why I got out early...got me a job that held me over until I was making $100 a month off the web, and naive enough to think I could make it alone. I never went on unemployment, and would have seen it as completely morally devastating to have needed to glom off anyone...that would have taken the self worth lower than I have felt even after waking up in a hospital after almost dying from ignorant self-destructive behavior.
  
• someone who did too many drugs about 4 years ago, and was laying on the floor with blood oozing from his mouth...showing me what a fuck up I was at that time for even living like that.
  
• all the other people who watched on in confusion while high...most all of them giving shitty advice. and then, with class, most started dancing like 1 minute after the guy who either died or nearly died was removed from the club (that really drove the point home pretty hard)...showing me how little I belonged where I was and how shallow the environment was

I still do not understand the point of life, or the fact that my sleazy country has weapons that can blow up virtually all living things. I do realize that I have great friends and more people have saved my life than I have done the same for, so while I figure out whatever my purpose is I need to find ways to do the favor back to others.

Posted at February 25, 2006 3:17 AM