Yesterday I turned 27. While I like acting like a kid, the fact is that some of the things I do which once helped me succeed are arbitrary, antisocial, and probably hold me back from the person I could become.

How many days out of the week do I put poison into my body? Probably at least 6.5. And that is pathetic. I know better.

Rather than trying to make perfect sense of the world, or trying to make the world fit what I want it to be, I should spend a bit more time being a person worthy of the resources I waste. And it is only a waste if you do not enjoy it to its full potential. Which I don't on most days. And that is shameful given the resources and opportunities and friends I have.

I have the freedom to be able to travel the world. Even while I was on vacation I think I made more than it cost to be on vacation. Thousands of people read what I write and give me feedback when I am fucking up. I have dozens of amazing friends who are only isolated by geography.

Sure I like a blissful excursion now and again, but how can I tell others that we should live with passion and then sit on the cusp of burnout, poisoning myself each day?

It is overwhelming sometimes to think how we can be so good at some things and so bad at others. But beyond the idea of natural gift the more common flaw is being led by fear. Or just a lack of experience.

Fear, like blinding belief

I need to stop building things up and knocking them down and building them up and changing what I think to fit my flavor of the day emotions. I need to actively raise my baseline such that I can find a way to cross expression and passion in a meaningful way almost every day.

So today there will be: No poison. No judgement.

And more importantly you can't do what you want by only stating what you do not. In absence of purpose poison becomes appealing. Thus today my goal is to appreciate the world more than I did yesterday. And hopefully try my best to do that everyday. Hopefully this is not a passing fling.